Why Working HARD will Keep You Poor (unless you do this) — Silicon Valley Girl Podcast

Marina Mogilko: If you think that the secret to making more money is saying yes, you've been lied to. The world celebrates hustlers with jam-packed calendars and endless to-do lists. I've done that for many, many years until last year. I asked myself, Marina, you're working on so many projects. Which one gives you the most value? What happens if you focus down on just one thing, on a bigger vision? What happens in a year?

I decided to focus on this podcast, not the solo thing, because I've been doing this for a while. I decided to focus on interviews. My life has changed dramatically in the past eight months. I got the most amazing guests. I've rebranded my Instagram. I got the most amazing manager. My revenue actually doubled. And now AI is teaching me to slow down even more because it's teaching me that a lot of things can be automated. It's teaching me that I don't have to do everything manually by myself.

Actually, with kids growing up, you want to spend more and more time with them because when they grow up, you understand how limited that time is. They're already five and four and in ten years or even less they won't need me. So I decided that I'm going to start slowing down and I'm going to talk about the principles that really worked for me in the past year. I've been talking to billionaires on this channel and I realized that what really separates the top one percent is that the most profitable word in business for them isn't yes. It's no. So let me break down for you exactly what I changed, what impact it made, and how you can use the same filters for explosive results.

**Saying no to busy work.** There is such a change I'm experiencing right now where I'm offered to go to a country that I love and they would pay for my business class flight. They would pay for a hotel for a speaking engagement. And I would say no. Like two years ago, even a year ago, if you told me that, I'd be like, who does that? If you're offered free travel, you travel. If you're offered to speak at a conference for free, you do it for free. But at some stage, I realized that traveling even for three or four days takes away the whole week of my work because I travel. I adjust to time zones. I don't have jet lag anymore. But still, I feel more tired. I feel like my body is under some kind of stress.

I said no to two amazing offers this month. It was so hard. Oh my god. But because I'm focusing on my podcast and all my opportunities, they're here. I just need to prioritize my bigger vision, my bigger goal. So every time when I get an offer now, if it's intuitively a no and I'm trying to logically prove to myself that I have to say yes, I try to say no.

From a person with my circumstances, where I grew up in this one-bedroom apartment shared with other families, my mentality is like you can't say no to things like this. You just can't. But I'm learning. I realized, after talking to therapists and friends who are good at this, they told me, "Marina, you're not that Marina anymore. Yes, saying yes to everything helped Marina from twenty years ago come to whoever she is right now, but that's it. You need to reinvent yourself to go even further. You can't apply the same strategies."

And another thing that really helps me mentally, helps me say no, is what Blakott has told me. I have this fear of losing everything. And I feel like if you know AI takes over in two years, I would be grateful to myself for saying yes to every project. And then I asked Lucky Lattis what she thinks about that.

a special guest: Even in the failing, we're going to figure something out because we have to. It's like you've made it this far. Like what's stopping you from figuring it out again and again and again?

Marina Mogilko: Yeah, I love that. It actually gives you some confidence. You're like, "Yeah, I could totally do it." And that thought also helps me with the right mindset.

**Say no to administrative chaos.** Scaling a business means a mountain of paperwork. I realized it's actually better to pay for a professional tool versus doing something yourself. So when I first came to Silicon Valley, I learned how much bookkeeping costs. I'm like, I can do it myself, and I did it myself for a year. And then I sent my QuickBooks to a CPA that we hired and she was like, we need a bookkeeper and we need her as soon as possible, and she's going to charge more because we only have a few weeks to work with the mess you've created.

And then they also noticed while doing this bookkeeping for us, they also noticed we didn't file a couple of forms 83B. Of course, we automatically got this note from the IRS that we need to pay a fine. I think it was like a forty-thousand-dollar fine. Something crazy. I was like, that's the end for our startup because we only got one hundred K in funding, twenty-five of which went towards a program. So we only had like seventy-five K plus some revenue that we were generating, but it wasn't a lot back then. So I thought that's the end of our existence. But my CPA told me that we can actually appeal, and it's the first time, and the IRS actually forgave us.

But like that moment, I learned that I'd rather pay for professional service than do everything myself and mess up so many things, because when it comes to legal stuff and compliance stuff in the US, everything is very complicated. But also at the same time, there are a lot of conditions that are favorable to you. And if you don't know about them, then you don't know about them, and you either get hit by a fine or you overpay. So working with a professional or using professional software is always good.

**Number three, saying no to false urgency.** When I try to focus on my work, I try to put my phone somewhere where it's hard to find it. By the way, this thing is called a bandolier. This is so good because we're used to carrying our phone in our hands. If it's just hanging on your body, there's more friction to pick it up. When you have the strap on your phone, it makes it clunky. It makes sounds. So it actually helped me reduce my screen time, which is super cool. And also gave me free hands for running after my kids when we're in a park and still having my phone with me and not having it fall out of my jeans.

That's the first method—I'm removing this distraction of constantly picking up my phone. The second is an app called One Sec that asks you every time you open an app, for example Instagram, what was the purpose? What are you trying to do? And if it's just scrolling, you're going to be, "Oh my goodness, shut down the app." Or if you're posting and it's work, then you ask One Sec to give you ten minutes to post, and then it's going to cut you off. It's not like it's blocking apps because for work I need it, right? But it's just teaching you to be more mindful about what you're going to do. Try it.

So now I don't reply to every ping and message or notification just because I don't see them. I just use my computer for work. I take my phone only when it's time to pick up my phone and maybe post stories. University of California research shows it takes an average of twenty-three minutes to refocus after each interruption. And if you multiply that by dozens of daily notifications, deep work becomes impossible.

**The next thing, saying no to low quality things in general.** I want everything that I do to have my brand on it, to have Silicon Valley Girl brand. If I show up to an event, I want to make sure I'm wearing something that me and my stylist worked on. If I'm making this video, I want to make sure I tell you the most genuine stories. If I'm posting a short, I want to make sure it's a short that deserves attention.

And you know how much I love AI. So this is totally not like me. But sometimes, and very often, we say no to automation. Remember the automation I was talking about on this channel? It was a cool concept to build and a cool concept to try, but what we realized is that it's still getting less views than we anticipated. And humanmade clips are so much better. Yes, the idea was to save time, but we also need the results. And the thing that I realized with all the AI tools that we're trying out—guess we might be too early—but it's very important to try them out, see where they're at, because maybe we try them again in two months, and then there's another API integration for cutting short videos, and we're like, "Oh, and now it's working and now we have the edge."

Because I'm hearing so many stories here in Silicon Valley when somebody started working on an idea that was too novel for that time or maybe too dramatic. But then ten years passed and that startup is on the top of the market because they were trying and testing earlier than others did, basically before it became the hype. So sometimes saying no to automations and different AI tools is exactly the move that compounds revenue. And sometimes less is more.

**The next one is something that I've worked on for a long, long time, and I feel like I'm becoming more free every single day.** I'm still working on it, but it is saying no to people pleasing. Harvard Business School found people who struggle to say no are thirty percent more likely to burn out and report lower job satisfaction. Saying no isn't selfish. It's actually self-respect.

For years, I said yes to avoid conflict, to be nice to other people, because people are gonna talk. I used to take criticism very close to my heart. I still do, but I'm learning a few practices. So practice number one: get nos by yourself. I started reaching out to the most important people in the world. I just heard another no this morning like, "Oh, his calendar is full for fall. Thank you so much for your email." Okay. And then we got another no, and one person rescheduled three times, which is like your ego is like enough. But then once you hear all of those people say no to you, like if he can say no, why can't I say no? I can also start saying no to things that I just don't want to do.

Yes, they might be important for my career, but I don't want to do them. I want to spend time with my kids and my new puppy. So start hearing nos, and it's going to be easier for you to say no.

And second tip for handling this rejection or handling criticism for your work: get a nickname. So yes, you see me as Silicon Valley Girl right now, but in real life, I'm Marina, a Russian-speaking Marina. Yes, we talk about technology and we talk about politics. I'm not showing everything on this channel. And when people judge Silicon Valley Girl, they judge Silicon Valley Girl. They judge my persona. And I can totally twist it. Okay, let's niche down, or let's become a better interviewer, because people are saying I'm asking dumb questions. Okay, maybe Silicon Valley Girl is sometimes asking dumb questions. Why is she doing that? Maybe lack of preparation. Maybe she has to do more. Maybe she has to select her guests more carefully. Maybe she has to hire someone who will teach her to ask the right questions.

Like this is my product of work. It's not me. I am Lingua Marina on one channel. I'm Silicon Valley Girl on another channel. I am Marina Mogilko on my third channel, but in real life, I'm Marina, and I'm a slightly different person than my products of work. Really helps you not take criticism too seriously to your heart. Although again, it's still going to hit you. You're either born ignorant, or yes, you're going to get some reaction. It's impossible to totally avoid it.

**Okay, another thing: saying no to low value partnerships.** Early on, I said yes to every collab. It felt exciting because when somebody tells you, "Can you do this for ten thousand dollars?" you're like, "Yes." And when somebody offers you and says, "Can you do this for five thousand dollars?" and you're like, "How can I say no to five thousand dollars?"

If I call my mom now and tell her, "Mom, I said no to this brand deal. I said no to flying me business class to this country and speaking at a conference," my mom would be like, "You could have made it. You could have found time. How would you say no to five thousand dollars?" My mom is now watching this channel, but I'm learning to say no.

I was talking to a smaller creator, and she's like, "I would never do a one-off deal." And she's ten times smaller, twenty times smaller. And I realized how much she values herself and her time, and how I am just scattering myself all over the place just because I can't say no to money. So we've been saying a lot of nos in the past few months, but what we actually saw is double revenue because we're able to pitch bigger brands with bigger budgets and we're able to accommodate their needs for a lot of content, which is a good thing. But first, the sink in revenue—I was like, how am I going to pay my team? How are we going to stay cash flow positive? A very interesting psychological transition.

**I think one of the most important updates I wanted to share in this video is that I'm no longer working on my healthy snack.** That's part of the strategy of saying no. Unfortunately, and again, I'm truly passionate about healthy eating, and I want our kids to grow up healthy in the US. I actually became a venture partner at a fund that invests in physical products. And I realized that this is the angle that's more suitable for me. So this one was a harder no, especially because it felt like a no right from the start when we started listing out the things that I was supposed to do, and I had to say no earlier. And now we're shutting down the company, transferring trademarks—a lot of time and money.

But lesson learned. Now it's going to be easier for me to say those nos. So if you're trying to learn how to say no, try to say a lot of yeses, but also set the bar high for yourself that you're only delivering high quality output. Then you'll be forced to say no. And this is such a good learning for me.

**The next one: say no to burnout guilt.** Rest isn't failure. Although my mom doesn't think that, I realized that the most productive ideas come to me when I'm hiking. Mike Krieger said the same. A lot of entrepreneurs say the same. They're like, I need some focus work, but then I need to walk. Then I need to talk to my friends. Then I need to play with my dog, play with my kids. Google's internal studies reveal employees who take regular breaks are twenty-three percent more creative and productive. And creativity is something that is really high value these days.

I protect my weekends. I try to say no to almost everything that happens during the weekend. I try to not travel on the weekends. I try to not do any work on the weekends.

**Say no to other success narratives.** You don't have to post daily or chase every trend. I actually just spoke to RPN, and he told me he started growing faster after he started posting less. Stanford research shows leaders who stick to their values, even when unpopular, build lasting success.

So I started saying no to distractions. Like, oh, that creator launched a physical product? I realized that's not for me. Oh, that creator interviews celebrities? I realized that's not for me. I love to interview techpreneurs. Or that creator did this and that—I love their work, but it's not for me.

Steve Jobs famously said innovation is saying no to ten thousand things. Elon Musk credits much of his success to ruthless prioritization and saying no to distractions. These aren't just buzzwords. Successful businesses aren't built by doing more.

And when I hear startup pitches that say, "Oh, we're going to do this, this, and that, and that, and that," I'm like, "Just focus on one key feature. Focus on one key thing that makes you stand out."

And this is exactly what my Instagram manager, Bestadone, told me. She's like, "Marina, stop chasing trends. Yes, this creator is really good at putting her makeup on. And I had that stage—remember? I was like, yeah, I have to say no to this. The best things are built by doing fewer things better with relentless focus.

So this week, the most productive thing you can do might be choosing one thing to stop.